Challenge Your Self Talk
Reviewing Your Round
If you’ve read any of my previous blogs, you’ll know I’m a big fan of journaling—especially after a round of golf. Sport, and golf in particular, can be frustrating, and it’s easy to become complacent or spiral into negativity about your performance. But asking the right questions after a round can be incredibly insightful and revealing.
I recently played 9 holes. It wasn’t a memorable round, but on the drive home, I decided to review it in more detail. Initially, I noticed how negative I was being—criticizing myself harshly. It would’ve been easy to take that internal self-talk as gospel. But instead, I challenged it and dug deeper into what actually happened.
Here’s what I was telling myself:
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“How bad was that?”
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“My putting felt crap.”
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“I made a bad double on the par-3 fourth.”
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“I made two bogeys from inside 120 yards—I need to work on my wedges.”
Let’s break each of these down and get some objective learnings.
How bad was it, really?
I hit 7 greens in regulation. The swing felt average, sure, but I didn’t hit any destructive shots. That double on the par-3 third? That was actually a course management error. I misjudged the wind and grabbed the wrong club. I tried to force the shot, came up short left, and caught a bad break. From there, bogey would’ve been fine, but I got greedy, flew the pitch over the back, and walked off with a double. In hindsight, I should’ve used my 60° wedge instead of a 54°.
On the 5th hole, I had 120 yards to a back pin, hitting from a downslope in the semi-rough with the wind behind. I flushed a PW, and it sailed 135. I simply didn’t process all the variables—the lie, the slope, and the wind.
The 9th was similar—again 120 yards, this time to a front pin. I went straight at the flag from the semi again, and the ball finished 40 feet past the hole. A better play would’ve been short of the green, leaving a flat chip or putt from off the fringe.
Now, it’s worth noting that both wedges were flushed. On paper, someone might look at those stats and assume a technical issue—but that wasn’t the case. I was using a hire set, no glove, thin grips, and not my usual golf ball. By reviewing the round objectively, I was able to give myself some grace. I didn’t play great, but I didn’t play nearly as badly as I first thought. I just made a few silly errors.
Perspective Matters
A friend of mine once spent two weeks with his coach in San Diego back in the early 2000s. During the trip, he got to play 9 holes with Phil Mickelson. Phil shot a 43—lost three balls, and things went sideways quickly. But after the round, Phil just laughed. He told my friend that there’s no way he’d have played that aggressively in a tournament, and that he experimenting with a few different shots. He hit driver on four holes that called for a long iron. He attacked every pin when the smart play was the middle of the green.
Two weeks later, Phil won the Bob Hope Classic.
What separates great players is how they handle poor performances. They don’t let bad rounds rattle their confidence. They draw a line under it, figure out what really happened, and move forward. When I was younger, a round like that would’ve sent me straight to my coach to change something technical. But if you’re a scratch player, you don’t lose your talent in an afternoon.
Sometimes life is just in the way. You might be tired, distracted, stressed, these things all affect performance, decision making and attitude. Being able to analyze your round with clarity is a skill. It shields your confidence and helps you bounce back faster.
A Final Story
Years ago, a friend was practicing on the range. A well-known Tour player stopped by for a chat. After a while, the pro grabbed a club and hit a few balls. What followed were five snap hooks, a couple of thin iron shots, and a handful of driver blocks.
Later, my friend called me in disbelief. “He’s got no chance in Hong Kong next week,” he said.
Well, the following week, we both watched the European Tour coverage—and there he was, top of the leaderboard on Sunday. He won.
At the time, we couldn’t understand it. How could someone hit it so poorly and then win a professional event days later?
The truth is: top players are not only technically excellent, they’re mentally resilient. They don’t carry poor shots around with them. They know bad swings happen. The rest of us, myself included, might drive away worrying and overanalyzing. But that mental drain leads nowhere productive.
Being able to accept the occasional poor shot—and move on—is a skill every golfer needs. It’s what allows you to play freely, recover quickly, and perform your best when it matters.
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